


If You Give A Troll A Cookie

by Wigmund



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Humor, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-23
Updated: 2010-12-23
Packaged: 2017-10-14 23:29:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/154657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wigmund/pseuds/Wigmund
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Be careful when you give a Troll a cookie, because all hell can break loose.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If You Give A Troll A Cookie

If you give a Troll a cookie

He’s gonna demand something to drink

When you give him some milk, he’s gonna cuss you out and spill it

When he does that, he’ll demand that you clean the mess up

Then he will get upset when you bring out the mop bucket

When he sees the mop bucket, he’ll demand that you hide it somewhere out of sight

When you go to hide the bucket, he’ll follow you to see where you hid it for ‘later’

Then you’ll make a mistake and ask him about his problem with buckets. He may very well explain you the odds and ends of troll romance.

When he’s explaining troll romance, he will need a dry-erase board and multiple markers so he can accurately show the minute details of their overly complicated system.

While he’s showing you the overly complicated system of troll romance, he’ll almost certainly get carried away and show you his shipping wall. So you’ll have to provide names of your close friends and possibly some family members.

When the troll is finished shipping everyone you know, he’ll ask you to put the chart up somewhere easy to see.

And then you will have to copy the chart in blood on your walls. This means you need to go out and get some fresh stuff.

When you finished painting the shipping wall, you and the troll will bask in the glory of the silly achievement.

Looking at all that blood will remind that he’s kinda thirsty…so he’ll ask for a glass of milk.

And if the bastard asks for a glass of milk, then he will most likely want some cookies to go with it.


End file.
